Nobody Cares
by saltoftheearth
Summary: Probably a one shot. Maybe not. JD begins his day with enthusiastic optimism and a grateful attitude. Will it last? Set during end of Season 6 beginning of Season 7 roughly.


**Disclaimer: I do not own. So piss off.**

_**JD's thoughts in italics**_

* * *

JD strolls down the hallway at Sacred Heart hospital, looking comfortable and confident. He smiles, nods, and waves at the doctors and nurses he passes on his way.

_After six years of working here, I've realized something profound. I belong here. This is my home. Everyone here has gotten to know me, accept me, and respect me. Even Dr. Cox (regardless of the girls' names and degrading speeches). That's just part of what makes Dr. Cox, Dr. Cox. I am completely at ease. For the first time in my life, I think I'm beginning to not mind being me. _

JD approaches the janitor, who is busy scrubbing a stubborn stain on a door. The janitor seems to sense JD's presence. He stops what he's doing, closes his eyes in annoyance, and stands upright from his hunched position.

_Ah, the janitor. At first glance, he appears to loathe me. But I know this is just our thing. Our game. It's part of my life here, and I wouldn't want it any other way._

JD nods and salutes the janitor as he passes by.

"Oh, that's right. Walk away, Scooter! Walk away!" The janitor calls after his retreating form.

JD glances back with a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

"You can't break my spirit, janitor. Not today!" 

JD continues down the hallway while the janitor snarls and goes back to scrubbing in the background. As he rounds the corner, he comes in view of the nurses' station where Carla, Turk, Elliot, and Dr. Cox are all standing or leaning. JD's perma-grin widens.

_And there they are. My gang. My crew. My peeps. My homies. They've been with me through it all. We've all had our ups and downs over the years. Lord knows this past year was a doozie for me. I've had more downs than I want to count. And yet…_

JD slows down as he nears the desk, allowing himself to finish his internal contemplations with a thoughtful smile on his face.

_…despite everything, despite the night I had last night – I'm happy. Truly happy. I'm the new JD. Normally I would have dragged myself in here this morning ready to whine to anyone who would listen about my problems. But today is different. Today I am so appreciative of all my friends and co-workers that I'm not going to burden them. Instead I'm going to tell them how much I appreciate them, and share my profound revelation with them._

JD finally reaches the nurse's station where his friends are all in various states of work, reading charts, looking over paperwork, etc. Elliot yawns loudly. JD takes a deep breath to begin his unrehearsed speech.

"Guys, I have something to tell you all." He announces proudly to a murmured and mumbled chorus of "good morning, JD".

"I just want you all to kn-"

"Nobody cares, Newbie." Dr. Cox says without even looking up from his patient's chart.

_Oh, classic Dr. Cox. Fine, maybe he's not in a place in his life where he's ready to hear my words of wisdom and contentment. At least I have people who acknowledge my friendship who will listen._

JD raises his eyebrows slightly in what he hopes is a look of indifference, but can't seem to keep the girlish smile off his face. The effect was most likely lost, but he simply shrugs it off and turns to face the others. He opens his mouth and takes a little breath to prepare to speak again, but the words get stuck in his throat.

Turk, Carla, and Elliot aren't waiting with attentive ears to hear what their friend is about to say. They aren't giving Dr. Cox chastising looks for cutting JD off. Instead Turk is nodding knowingly at Dr. Cox who continues to look down at the chart in his hands. There is something in Dr. Cox's expression that says, "Yeah, he knows I'm right". Elliot is looking bored, tired, and a little irritated. Somehow JD can tell by the way she's standing and not making eye contact, that it's not Dr. Cox that she's irritated with this time.

Finally JD turns to Carla, who is always ready to stick up for him - the mother hen who enjoys taking the contrary route if it means showing others how they are "in the wrong". But Carla isn't standing there with one hand on her hip and one hand raised, her whole body at the ready to lit into the others. She seems both amused and uncaring. She makes a huffing noise and turns her back to JD, telling him in that tiny sound and movement that she agrees with Dr. Cox and has already moved on to something more important.

As the smile drops off his face, and the twinkle fades from his eyes, JD's mind begins to replay moments and snippets locked in his memory. He thinks of the conversations he overheard while he was taped to the cafeteria ceiling. He pictures the bedpan race between Turk and Elliot he had heard Laverne telling one of the nurses about. He pictures himself sitting with Elliot, the loser of the race, in the bar - oblivious to the fact that Elliot had no desire to be there that night. He thinks of Turk, his best friend, still denying the betrayal of sleeping with JD's girlfriend in college. He sees Dr. Cox freely accepting a hug from Elliot (of all people) when his baby girl was born. He remembers him telling Elliot, Carla, and Turk that they would be invited to his little girl's birthday party, but not JD. JD pictures the whole crew, even the janitor, all mourning the death of their good friend and co-worker Lavern, while he alone sat with Jordan in her hospital room. He remembers how he felt the next day when Jordan and Dr. Cox both laughed at him when he though that she was serious about naming their child Jennifer Dylan and allowing JD to be her Godfather.

JD stood there at the nurse's station for what felt like a lifetime as his mind flashed images and sound bites at a rapid-fire rate. In reality this all occurred in mere seconds. By the time he blinked a few times and lifted his head to look at the people around him, they had already forgotten about the little exchange that had just taken place and were in work mode. All it took was one minute and three little words to shatter his optimism. Maybe his spirit wasn't as unbreakable as he thought. Maybe his optimism was too fragile, maybe it just needed stronger roots. Maybe if it had been as strong as he thought he wouldn't have taken those words so hard.

But he did. As the world around him kept moving and turning, his world screeched to a hault. In an instant he knew, even if Dr. Cox didn't really know it himself, that those words were absolutely true.

Nobody cared.

And even though nobody cared what his reaction would be, and nobody was paying the slightest bit of attention – JD swallowed, put on a small smile, and said quietly:

"I know."


End file.
